New Life

I was recently asked when I would have baby No. 3. I replied - that while we are not ruling it out - life is full right now. I have a full-time job in ministry at a local church. My husband has a full-time job in ministry: 3/4 in campus ministry and 1/4 in local church. We have two very active children, one 4 and one 2 who bring so much energy to our lives that we can't even begin to reign in the chaos. This person then said - well you can have the baby and then give it to me, I've got time. My response was "Um, No!" First, I didn't do pregnant well the last time, lots of bedrest, some large number of hospital trips for pre-term labor before Ellie was actually born. Second, if I am going to go through all that work, I'm going to keep the baby.

I was watching tv last night and saw a father holding a newborn (well, as small as you can actually have on tv, not that new) and thought - I miss those cuddly moments. All these thoughts have brought me to ponder new life. We think of new life as something wonderful - life giving. We forget after we have gone through it that it is a lot of work. We all long for new life, rebirth, freshness yet we don't want the pain, struggle and work that it takes to get it. This is true for us individually and equally true in the church.

We've all heard that the seven deadly words in the church are "we have always done it this way!" It's always easier to do things the way they have been done before because we have a pattern to go by. We have an idea what it looks like. We know that it works. And yet - we are often not content with it as it has been done in the past. In the moment it didn't meet or exceed or expectations. It just is. How often do we stay stagnant in our lives - communally or individually because it just is where we are.

We've spent some time in the pool this summer. Last year - neither Ben or Ellie wanted much to do with the water. They wanted to held in the water and that was it. This year they both are getting much more adventurous. Josh and I hadn't put them in swim lessons because we didn't want to push them. So we've begun teaching them a few things and know that swim lessons are in our future next summer. It has caused me to reflect on the act of swimming in relation to new life. Strange I know. When you are swimming you may get tired, but you can always stop, catch a breath and then push off again in search of the unknown. You can walk in the water as long as you can touch. There comes a time though that when you don't want to swim and you can't touch that you have to tread water. Anyone who has treaded water knows that it doesn't take long before you get tired. You are stuck in the middle - not moving - not changing.

I wonder when we decide not to change because it's too hard if in fact it is harder because we are treading water. Could it be that the reason we are tired is because we are spending all of our energy staying in one place. What would happen if we used our energy to move - to grow - to reach for new life. We could find places to push off and find a place to stand with our head above water when we get tired or need extra help.

So I am not announcing that Josh and I will be having baby No. 3 anytime in the near future, if at all. What I would like to challenge us all to do is to seek new life in our lives, knowing that it will may be hard at times. We may lose sleep. We may be uncomfortable. We may hear those things which wound us deeply by others who are simply treading water afraid of moving. We know that we must work to have new life. We also know that new life is not necessarily any more work than remaining stangnant, treading water. I think about Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban. When Harry is in the Defense against the Dark Arts class and Professor Lupin won't give him a turn fighting the boggart. Professor Lupin didn't want Voldermort to appear. Harry's biggest fear was that of the Dementor. Professor Lupin comments that that proves that Harry's biggest fear is fear. Let us conqueor the fear of change. Let us move instead of treading water. Let us shine our light in the darkness knowing that the darkness will not overcome it.